True Stories in our Real Life

These stories are real believe me…

Landon received his first sun-ray note home.  Mrs. Lowe stopped me in the hallway to tell me about the incident before he gave me the note.  Apparently while lining up a classmate got out of line in front of Landon and then when he tried to get back in line Landon thought he was cutting in line.  Landon decided to bite him.  When we got home I asked Landon to unload his folder.  He grabbed his folder and immediately headed toward the trash can very sneakily. I watched him and he then said, "Mom I need you to go in the other room for a second so I can do something."  I knew that sneaky little boy was trying to throw away that note so I wouldn't see it.  I opened the folder and sure enough it was there.  When I asked him about what happened, he said, "I wouldn't of had to bite him if he didn't cut me.  You know, No cuts, No buts, and No coconuts!"  Try keeping a straight face after that!!!

Picture day at school sounds like a great day in theory unless you are me with a child who hates to wear anything but sweatpants material clothing.  Believe me I keep this in mind when I choose the outfits for this special day.  I found this simple (no collar) t shirt with khaki style shorts but the waistband was elastic like sweatpants so I thought it might work.  I helped him change his clothes and once he realized it wasn't "fluffy" shorts all hell broke loose.  He began to cry and refuse to wear those shorts.  He took them off stomped on them very angrily and stretched out the waistband so much that they would not stay up on his waist.  Of course in the background, Carter is refusing to wear his shoes because they just too uncomfortable today and Nolan is hitting Landon on the head with the hanger from Landon's new shirt.  I sent Carter and Nolan to the car to get strapped in while I negotiated with Landon in the few minutes we had left before we had to run out the door.  He was sobbing at the bottom of the steps saying his legs were too tired to walk up the stairs to get a different pair of shorts.  I laid out two different pairs of shorts and told him that I was headed to the car and that he needed to choose a pair, put them on, and meet us in the car very soon.  I got in the van, backed it out of the garage, and patiently waited for him to appear in the doorway.  No Landon, two minutes, three minutes, four minutes pass and the rage from within is bubbling inside me.  I go back inside to find him in his bedroom reading a book laying on top of both pairs of shorts.  At that moment I have no idea where I got the voice that I used but it sounded like huge man with a hairy chest in the midst of a bar fight…I grabbed him, put on a the shorts, dragged him down the stairs to the car and closed the door.  Just as the door of the van is closing I turn around to see a woman walking her dog on the sidewalk behind the van.  Yep, children services might be sitting on my front porch when I get home from school today.  The whole way to school he gave me the death glare.  Oh the joys of picture day!  I am happy to wait another 365 days for it to arrive.


Nolan and Landon woke up before 5:15am and were raring to go this morning.  I tried to get them to cuddle with me in bed but it was no use so I told them to head down to watch a show while I jumped in the shower.  If you know me at all you know that it is never a good choice to leave my children unsupervised for too long.  As I was finishing rinsing the conditioner out of my hair I noticed Nolan walk into the bathroom.  I shut off the water, wrapped a towel around me and stepped out of the shower.  What to my wandering eyes should I see but Nolan with a cup drinking water out of the toilet.   He then says, "I drink potty water." There isn't enough soap in the world to clean that mouth.

Just recently Aunt D picked up some book lights from IKEA for the boys for their bedroom.  They have been more than excited to use them.  We clipped them on and let the boys choose a book to take to bed to look at.  When Bob and I walked in after bath, Nolan and Landon were using the book light as a spot light on each other's penis.  This is one of the moments as a parent when you just step back and reflect on this situation and are speechless.  No words, no words.

Comments

LC said…
No words, but lots of laughs! I of course laugh because it's you and not me :)

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