Reality?

I find that many times when I began to chat with others about the daily events that happen at the Boone house that they look at me in disbelief as if I'm lying to them.  The scariest part is that it's all truth...it's our reality.

Take for instance:
Within a week of each other Nolan flushed a Matchbox car down one bathroom toilet.  When I asked him why he said, "I wanted it to go to see the crocodiles." Now we have a overflowing toilet that is clogged and needs to be fixed.  Later that week since we were down a potty, I was cleaning the boys bathroom toilet using a new toilet bowl cleaning tool.  This stick had attachable cleaning pads that were unflushable.  However, after I scrubbed the bowl I flushed it just to see if I had missed any parts and off pops that scrubber down the toilet.  I quick stuck my hand in the toilet trying to catch it but I wasn't quick enough so it went down too.  Yep, it then overflowed onto the bathroom floor.  We are down to only one functioning toilet in the house.

While in public: Nolan grabs the front of my shirt and tries to pull in down. I said, " hey buddy please don't pull on Mommy's shirt." He says," but I just wanted to see your big pimples." Then I struggled with whether to correct him and tell him he meant to say nipples or just let the people surrounding me think that yes I do have big pimples...I went with the 

latter. 

One morning while Carter was driving his battery operated car on the back of the couch, he drove it over my head and it quickly tangled its wheels in my hair. This hurt like a maniac! Bob was trying so hard not to hurt me as he ripped the wheels from my strands. Carter kept saying, " sorry mom that was a bad choice."

As Nolan was finishing up his bath, Landon was getting his clothes off ready to jump in. I walked in and saw Landon using my hair claw clip around his penis. These are moments when I say to myself, "what would ever make you think that was something you should try?"

Each year Bob looks forward to the special at Red Lobster called endless shrimp. We were finally able to find the time night to go and celebrate his birthday. This year he tied his all time record of 11orders of shrimp. The boys were proud. 

While driving to school, Carter asked if more people would call him by his nickname when he gets older. I said, Probably. I then said no one called me a nickname until I went to college where they called me "Grocho" in lieu of my long last name. He said well is that why you married dad so you could have a shorter name? I said, "No I married daddy because I love him and he loves me. Next Carter tells me that he just found out three girls from his class had a crush on him last year. Jokingly I said, "well maybe when they get older they will want to have the same last name as you!" He immediately says, "mom lets stop this conversation because it makes me very uncomfortable." Oh, it's always business with that one!

This summer we planted a few sunflower seeds my Grandfather had given us before he passed. The day after planting there was quite a rain storm and we thought they had been washed out. A few weeks later a sprout appeared. Bob and I were giddy with excitement. Bob watered it often and even used a metal stake to help it grow tall. One day I showed my mom our "sunflower" and she said , "Heidi that is a weed." I couldn't believe how big this weed was...I guess that's what happens when you water it and care for it. Needless to say, it never bloomed sunflowers but we did leave it up all summerin memory of Grandpa Grocho. I am sure he is laughing. 

The best way my boys verbally solve problems with their siblings at the house right now is to threaten to "punch you in the face." Surprisingly it seems to resolve the conflict. I'll never understand these boys.