Living on the Edge

Yes, it's true I am living on the edge.  Not because I love extreme sports like skydiving, bungee jumping, etc but because that is where my kids have pushed me to...Life on the edge.  I am hoping that this is just a phase but goodness me, it is causing this lady serious stress.

The other evening I thought a great project would be dot-to-dot puzzles so we got out the stamp pads and created our own.  They were both having a great time with this activity so I decided to walk into the next room and fold a load of laundry.  Just minutes later I hear a scratching sound coming from the table...to my amazement Landon is scribbling on the table with a pen.  The fury of seven junk yard dogs came out of me as I took that pen out of his hand.  I could not stinkin believe that he did this.  After talking with him, I gave them crayons to use instead.  He quickly jumped down and wrote on the mirror closet door.  Wow! That was really all I could say.

Trouble is this little guys middle name.

On Tuesday's we meet Bob for lunch in Jackson.  So after eating lunch I knew that I needed to run to Target and then head back to get the boys down for nap before we picked up the girls from school so it needed to be a quick trip. When we arrived we all headed for the restroom where both boys went potty.  Then after getting all of our coats, hats, and gloves off into the cart and started shopping, Carter tells me that he has to go potty again.  We rush back to the front of the store and I grab all of our stuff and the boys and Carter goes potty.  Then back into the cart we go.  Once I have finally made it to the section of clothes where I need to be Carter tells me he has to poop.  I hear myself say "Seriously?" as I lug the boys back to the front of the store.  Carter goes poop and I strip down Landon because I am making sure he goes while we are in there.  Nope Landon doesn't have to go.  We get in the cart I grab what I need and as a reward I take the boys to the toy section at the back of the store to look at the toys for 2 minutes.  Just as I am setting my timer I glance over at Landon and he is gripping the shelf and says, "Mommy I poop." Yes, that would be our fourth trip to the bathroom in less than 40 minutes at Target.  There were a group of older retired men sitting in the Target cafe who were laughing at me each time I came to the restroom sweating carrying in two boys.  

Today, Wednesday, was a day for the record books! At the end of play group while I was sanitizing toys a mother informs me that Carter just ripped a train out of Landon's hand and tackled him.  I immediately put Carter in timeout where he plays the sit down stand up game for a good two minutes.  Then once we have talked about his behavior I tell the boys it is time to go.  I laid out their boots and coats and asked them to put them on so we could go.  Each day when they do this I reward them with a licorice bite.  Today they both ran away from me and laughed.  As I am gritting my teeth, I tell them both that they still need to put on their boots and coats but they will not get the licorice because they didn't listen the first time.  And that is when the meltdowns began.  Carter acted as if he couldn't put on his own boot and threw it across the room.  Landon said he couldn't walk and rolled across the room.  All of the eyes were on me and my tantrum throwing Tasmanian devils.  I take Carter's arm and help him put on the boots and ask him to put on his coat.  He says, "No!" and proceeds to dump over the play kitchen and all the shopping carts.  Well, this infuriated me so I put on his coat and told him that he would be riding in the stroller to the  car.  I wrestled him into this umbrella stroller as he arched his back and was as stiff as a board.  Both boys had brought their own monster trucks from home to play at playgroup but with their crazy behavior I told them that they had to stay there.  Landon was crying and rolling in the snow as we made our way to the car.  Carter, still arching his back and dragging his feet in the stroller, is bawling and screaming.  I have to pop a wheelie in the stroller to get it to move without hurting his feet.  I get to the car and put Carter in his carseat when he decides to chuck his boots off into the parking lot. I strap Landon in who has finally realized that it is best to just be quiet is as silent as a mouse.  As I drive home Carter is still crying and screaming at me to listen to him.  I simply told him that I will not listen to him until he is calm.  He takes off his socks and throws them at me while I am driving.  I say, "I understand that you are angry and that is okay but please don't throw things at me while I am driving that is unsafe." His reply to that is, "Well, then I will just poop on your face!" As these words come out of his mouth, I want to laugh because it is so ridiculous but I feel my eyes well up with tears.  I am not sure if because I am pushed to the limit with this situation or because of how upset he really is and this is the way he knows to react.  He finally calmed down after a good 8 minutes but it was a very long 8 minutes.

So I hope you aren't on the phone right now with child services calling me in but I had to share and document these amazing moments because I know that in the scheme of life they won't be that big of a deal.  Right now in this moment however, they have made a huge impact on my daily life as a parent.  You can be sure to know that I kissed Bob each day that he came home from work because I needed to tell someone "Tag your it!"